Pill-Billies (Discover this Summer's naughtiest read...) Page 5

  Everybody knows the oldest drug dealer in the world is the pharmacist. David and Paul wanted to get into robbing pharmacies. I refused. I told them that that would be completely a waste of time for all that jail when we could just keep driving to Florida and buy the stuff and jack the price up. David and I used to take little mini vacations in our leased Escalade or convertible Mercedes whatever he had at the time. We would go all the way down to Florida just to go to the beach and actually be able to hang out in peace in obscure towns like Seal Beach and Grayton. We wouldn't take anything with us. We would have people to buy pot from once we got there. We just wanted to drive and not worry about getting pulled over and going to jail. David said that it was the only thing that would cure my pant wetting problem. He said I needed to ride without any chance of having to worry about going to jail. The ironic part was that he was driving. He was a damn serial killer by definition. He killed a lot of people when he was doing his gangsta shit.

  David was a total lunatic at all times. There was never a time where he let up. Any time that he was being nice I always was afraid for the other shoe to drop as soon as he drank enough. He used to go on these long tirades when he was really wasted about how I didn't love him but if I try to leave him he was going to kill me and then himself. The only way I could calm him down was by threatening to tell Daddy on him. He snapped right out of it every time. I remember we were in this hotel room. We had picked this girl up from a bar. He was already having sex with her. I had started my period. I didn't want to have sex. I was going to let them go ahead and finish.

  I was going out to the U-Haul to get my tampons and when my hand touched the door David jumped up from the bed and grabbed me. He thought I was leaving. He beat the shit out of me in front of that girl. He didn't even let me finish telling him that I was just trying to get my tampons. The sick part was that after we fought that girl tried to leave and David pretty much raped her in front of me. We had to leave the hotel that night. Paul was real pissed off. Our abrupt but necessary departure had interrupted him having sex. That was the closest I'd ever seen to Paul getting into a fight with David. David would have murdered him in a heartbeat. Paul was so little and so injured.

  Paul's story is really awful, too. His mom died when he was a real little kid. She had cancer. His dad owns a lot of land and leased it out to a hunting club that he acquired after the owner died. His dad acted like the game warden by driving around and checking on all the different groups of hunters. Everybody liked Paul's dad even though he was a lousy shot and never really hunted. He was an expert on hunting that land. Paul tried his best to keep up with all the latest. He was a really good shot unlike his father. Paul started doing guided tours as a young teen around the land for the groups of yuppie hunters from the suburbs of Louisville. They would roll up in their fancy BMWs and Lexus Coupes with their LL Bean hunting flannels on. Their brand new rifles and guns in hardcases would be piled next to their titanium custom golf clubs. They would have University of Kentucky Alumni stickers placed perfectly in the back right corner of the back windshield. They were all Type-A corporate boys doing the weekend warrior thing. He would show them the good spots to get and which tree stands had the best views. During a climb down Paul fell from way up bad. He nearly died. He had metal screws and plates holding bone together. He had chronic back pain, Beckwirth-Ordiff Disorder. That's how he got really deep into drugs. It's also how we got our pills in Florida. We doctor shopped with him. Every deer season they were busy all the time running that place. Paul's daddy never talked about the loss of his wife. All he did was just drink and ignore Paul. Paul was told he was an only child. Paul's daddy continued to lie to Paul until Paul was about 10 years old. It turned out that he had a half brother. His daddy had been married before. It was a boy in his class at school. A boy named Richard. The school was so small that they still had some of the grades in the same room working on their different school stuff. Richard was actually a few years older than Paul. He started coming over after his daddy regained some of his custody back. At first, Paul didn't know what Richard thought of him. He was so used to being ignored. He didn't really say much to Richard when he would come over. They would just go hunting together. Richard came to respect Paul's quietness. Richard had already developed quite a drug problem. He learned from friends at school to look in grandma and grandpa's medicine cabinet and see what was there and then steal it and sell it. The old grandparents would never have suspected their young, clean-cut teenage grandson of having the voracious appetite for OxyContin like Richard did. Paul was not allowed to ever meet that set of grandparents because his father was hated by them. Richard would replace pills for other pills. His grandparents never picked up on it. They were so old and we're on so many different medications. He took it a step further when he would point out to them that they were running low on the medicines. He would offer to go get them refilled for them at the drugstore. He put the real pills into his pockets and put fake ones in their place. Pretty soon he had Paul hooked on OxyContin even worse than after his fall. The two of them started doing whatever they could to get those pills. Paul's daddy wanted to keep the image up of the club. He built a really nice house on the property there. Later on, Richard's dad moved with some floozy and the club closed. That house is mine and Richard's pad now. Before all that though, Paul and Richard took complete advantage and moved in with him forming a false closeness which really was that they were all drinking together. Richard got so into drugs that he and Paul started looking around in the neighborhoods for where the old people's houses were. The plan was to find old people and wait for them to not be home. Richard and Paul would ride their bicycles around the neighborhoods watching and waiting for the rare window of opportunity, when an old grandma or grandpa would leave to go to the Wildcat Country Buffet or something. If the house had any kind of relative living there it made it harder. They would come and go a lot more often. It was risky to break into those places. They eventually found a circuit of houses. Most of them were occupied by old ladies. There were a few old men that were on the hit list. What they would do is ride their bicycles around waiting and waiting for them to leave. They were very smart and patient about what they would do, like teen pill vultures. They would only take houses that were bordered by woods, first of all. They would investigate all the different possible ways to get into the house before picking the least intrusive. They would usually wait until nighttime to do that. Anybody that had a dog was automatically off-limits. Dogs made too much noise. It was too risky. Paul said that Richard told him if a dog bit you and you bled and left blood behind that they could find you that way. They would get into the empty house somehow and go straight to the medicine cabinet. They would see what prescriptions were refillable. They would pocket some of the pills from the bottle. They would replace pills with fakes too, sometimes. They would also look for any thing small and valuable they could steal usually cash and jewelry. They took a gamble on the old person's forgetfulness being blamed for a few missing pills and a few missing necklaces or earrings. That way they could break into the same places, over and over. Richard usually did all of the searching through the house. He made Paul play lookout. They used cell phones as walkie-talkies. They got so good at robbing houses they decided to go for the rich neighborhoods. They did the same thing. They were patient and smart. They cleaned people out, left and right. They took their spoils to flea market vendors three counties away and made a fortune. Richard was obsessed with watching Court TV. He watched all of the FBI shows and all of the police shows and the forensic shows. He had a stack of notebooks that he took notes in when he was all pilled out. The notebooks were all arranged by subject. They were How-to manuals: how-to get away with breaking and entering, how to get into a house without being detected, how to quietly subdue someone, and how to get away with murder and hide bodies. Those were literally in a stack with tons of Post-it notes marking various subjects. For example, on the one Mead 5-Subject Green Spiral notebook hand titled "Murder," he
had a Post-it sticking out that said "Using Blunt Object," next to that another Post-it said "Using Strangulation.”

  He was the most careful criminal I had ever met. He's probably the reason why we never got caught smuggling. Richard was a genius. Richard was obsessed with fingerprints getting on things. Of course, he didn't have to worry about leaving fingerprints. He had cut the skin off each fingertip. Every single fingerprintable piece of skin had been cut off with a razor. He did them over a period of years. That's how paranoid this guy was. Richard had a pistol on him all the time. He believed that he wasn't breaking the law. He believed he was at war against it. Richard was very quiet and smart and wore glasses. He had a long, pointy nose that made him look like a nerd instead of a druggie.The false back that he created to fit into the U-Haul was undetectable. It was absolutely incredible. Richard made it airtight. It was enclosed and encased in layers and layers of steel that you could not get through. He did a lot of specialty welding and that's how he got so good. That was his main line of work before he became a Pillbillie Kingpin. The false back box thing that he created for us to stash pills in looked just exactly like it was part of the U-haul itself. We would pile furniture in there so that it would be easy for the police to get it out and look back there before realizing there was nothing in the back. If we had pot on us it was only enough that we could swallow while David was driving. We never smoked pot in the cab. That was one of Richard's rules but we actually agreed with him. That was the easiest way to get arrested. The other easy stupid thing to do was to drink and drive. We would only drink at the hotels. We would never drink while we were on the road. We got pulled over plenty of times and most of those times I had an accident after the cops left. They would search us. They would search the U-haul. They would run our licenses. There would be absolutely nothing they could do but let us go. They would be standing right in front of where all the pills were. They didn't even know it. Richard had met a dirty K-9 cop from Berea, Kentucky. The way that we found out that the box was safe and really airtight was that that guy brought that drug dog over. He couldn't smell it. Richard tested it. He gave that dirty cop a lot of pills. David, Paul, and I were over there waiting for that cop guy to leave so we could talk about the first run. Paul was jonesing so bad. He made David drive him across the mountain to another friend who was holding. They left me there to wait for Richard. It was understood that if they didn't come back that I was to spend the night. The dirty cop saw me over at Richard's. He told Richard that he had to have me or he was gonna rat us all out. Richard made me give the guy a blow job. He promised me ten Oxycontins for doing it and I was out. I didn't even mind. He made me suck him off for five extra pills, some good downers. I did it. I felt sick later but I got fucked up that night. He leaned against the box and squeezed my big boobs while he fucked my mouth. That is my tainted first memory of the stash box. It was absolutely incredible. If he could have marketed it he would be a millionaire. After the cop left, he got really fucked up on speed and did all these calculations about how much gas it would take to get to Florida and back to Vinson. He calculated the times of days that would be best to travel when there would be the least amount of police. He would also make us dress really nice. Nobody could be dressed up like a thug or a gang kid. He knew cops would pick up on that. I wish I could say that I only did sexual favors for pills that one time. But, that's not true. Richard and I were fucking regularly. David would zonk out from eating his pills. He'd start begging me for mine until I caved. I would do it knowing Richard had more and like all men could be swayed by sex. His face was ugly but he had a nice cock and a nice enough body. Not like David, big and muscly, but kind of like a swimmer's body, tall and lanky. He had a big boob thing. I have huge tits. I learned that being a tease worked on him. I wore short shorts and a thong and a tight bright neon colored halter top to accentuate my giant rack. I made sure to bend over a lot and tease him with my ass. He wanted anal sex more than regular and that was fine with me. I didn't want to get pregnant by him since he was such a junkie. I also needed that fix. I got good at letting him do me like that. It started turning me on, more and more. I was going over there even when I had pills just to fuck him for extras. He had a really long tongue that he would stick up in me back there. That got me super wet. I was really just attracted to his demeanor more than anything. He dressed real nice and smelled good. He had money. He was so stoic and business-like about drugs. When he partied it made him sexy. He was more charismatic than David. They never fought. David was scared of him. Richard was so smart and dangerous David knew to submit. Plus, Richard was our boss. He fronted all the money for the U-haul, the gas, the food, the hotels, and the pills. After David blew all his Charlotte money, got fired from Costco for threatening a customer, and was hooked on Rush Limbaugh's, he knew not to bite the hand that feeds. The other thing that I thought was sexy about Richard was that he drank wine and knew a lot about it. He would do this thing where he would put a blindfold on and make me open a bunch of bottles. We started figuring out that neither David or Paul knew that we were having a sexual relationship in exchange for goods. This was one of the many weekends where we got rid of them. We sent them on the run to Florida. We were doing that more and more towards the end. Lucky for me, I quit going altogether so that Richard and I could just stick around with each other and have sex. He made me feel classy. I had never felt that way before. He wasn't very attractive in the face but he had so much money. He could take me out to dinner and on dates and pull my chair out for me and stuff like that. In the dark he was gorgeous. I just figured out to have sex with him with the lights off. I told him I like doing it that way. He never picked up on the fact that it was because he wasn't very easy on the eyes. He would do this thing with the wine where I would've opened all those bottles. He would make me put my hair up in pigtails and wear a thong and have my boobs out. That was one of the other conditions before he would give me my own private stash of pills. It kind of turned me on because no guy has ever wanted me that much not since the dentist. He would make me pour whatever wine I wanted in a fresh glass. He would take it in with his big schnoz and he would sniff it. He would swirl it around in the glass. He would take a sip. He could guess what it was every time. It was so impressive to me because he was so rich. He drove a really nice new black-sparkle painted Shelby Mustang. The other thing that I thought was sexy about him was that he knew a lot about computers. The way that he would talk about them in such detail, got me excited because he was so much smarter than stupid David. David was just a spoiled brat and a brute. I had traded the carnal for the cerebral. Towards the end, David came back with Paul from Florida and demanded that I do all these things. He started acting like a jerk. I just didn't do it. I didn't care and he couldn't make me anymore. That's when we broke up. He did the usual thing saying he was going to kill himself. I didn't have any reaction to that, whatsoever. He started going through all the motions of trying to get upset before he realized it was just over between us. It had been for a long time. David had contracted Hepatitis-C somewhere along the way. He'd been shooting up drugs lately. He had lost so much weight. He and Paul looked like skeletons. The police didn't even recognize him from his old Charlotte gangbanger pictures. His face was so gaunt. I wasn't attracted to him, finally. I was disgusted by him. I didn't care what he said he was going to do. If he threatened to kill me again I was going to call the police. I was going to tell them every single thing that I knew about that David did. Luckily, I didn't have to. I went back over to Richard's after hotel hopping took its toll on my limited funds. My only Wildcat dufflebag and I moved in there with him. He threw my cell phone in the garbage. He went and bought me a brand-new one. He told me that he was going to pay a couple of meth heads he knew that lived out in the sticks to fuck David up. I was going to let him do it. That was the only guarantee to get rid of David, who would stalk me for forever. I was sure. They were hot on his trail up until the cops came and got David. He was going to be a dead man, either way. Jail saved h
is worthless life. Now, he's just wasting away waiting to be put in the electric chair. It was so nice to get rid of him. Richard started acting all weird, asking me to marry him, shit like that. I told him that I needed to think about it before I decided. I actually thought about marrying him and us getting clean together. I went back over there after staying at Daddy's for a weekend, and told him that I would do it but we had to get clean and stay clean for good. I knew there was just no way he could handle the commitment. He dropped the whole marriage thing. We went back to being fuck buddies and drug buddies. I got tired of spending his money. He would bitch about it. I went and got a job at the old folk's home in Holt. We ran out of pills. Paul was driving back from Florida. He still goes but by himself now. I decided to sneak enough to hold us over. That fat bitch-cunt Marsha, reviewed the CCTV video after the next Meds were administered. I hurried too fast and screwed a lid on lopsided which stood out. It looked fishy to her. She saw me do it on tape and turned me in. Richard immediately bailed me out. I had never been arrested before. I can't believe that after all the years of drugs and reckless lawbreaking I got arrested for the stupidest, most obvious crime you could ever commit. I knew I was on video. I didn't think they would notice a few quick sneaks. Plus, most of the underpaid staff wouldn't care. I have never been more wrong about something in my life. Everybody cared. My mother and Terry preached to me about going back to church. I had just gotten completely out of control. They started putting all this literature from the Pentecostal church in our mailbox. Me and Richard just ignored it. I tried to make up a lie for why I had taken the pills. I told them that they were extras. I did not want the patient to be delayed in getting a refill. I was removing the pills and put them into my pocket to throw them away. The only problem is by the time the police got there I was in the parking lot getting in my car. That's when I got busted. I was sitting in my car. The charges were even worse. If they had busted me in the parking lot walking to my car the charges would not have been as severe. I lied to them and told them that I forgot to throw the pills away. The first part of my lie did not match up. They went back and counted how many pills should have been in the bottle and how many pills I had on me and realized that I just plain stole them. I stuck to my story. I told them that I miscounted. Nobody believed me. Richard got me a real good attorney. The best he could do was 10 months in this place. He said if I would not have had him as my attorney I would've been in jail for years. The reason that I'm going to have to become a stripper with Tori is because it's literally the only work I can do. I know what my stripper thing is going to be. : )